In my clinic, or in calls whether video or regular calls from the comfort of your home, I can help you to find out what you want to feel like inside when you get to your end state, to your destination and are your true self once again.
It is only when we are in this sat of being our true selves that we can really help others and live our lives fully. The way I see it it is only then that you can plot a course to get there.
This may sound puzzling and contradictory but read on….
What I have found is that most people know how they want to feel when they have arrived at their ideal state and have very little clarity about how to get there. If the path was clear and straightforward then you would be there already.
Thankfully, that is where I can help you! By reverse engineering from your ideal state and working backwards with you I can help you to decide on what steps to take today to get to the ideal state in a fraction of the time you imagined it would take you.
In fact, for some people this works so well that by the end of the first 30 minute or one hour call they have already tasted what it feels like to be in their ideal state and already taken the steps they needed to reach it. Their lives are changed, their perspective is different, their energy restored and their willingness (willpower) to maintain this state is at an all-time high!
Maria was an American lady who booked her online sessions at my secure website https://padraigking.com
On her booking form she said:
“I hope you can re-energise me and help me to find my true self again. I’m drifting further and further away from the kind of life I want to be leading, I’m stressed out, I’m snapping at the kids, losing patience with my husband and my job is driving me mad! I know there is a better way to live but I need your help to find it, to find me, the real me”
The first few minutes of our first full call were an outpouring of all the negatives that were happening in her life. In fact, I didn’t even get to say hello! However, when she finally stopped it was because she was completely spent, crying and “feeling useless, worthless and my life is not going anywhere!”
I invited her to cross her ankles. This tells your body in no uncertain terms that you are not running away from the problems that face you, there is no emergency that you have to rush off to deal with or to dodge away to! It indicates to your brain and body that you are somewhere safe for a while and can switch off the flight reflex that has kept you rushing about exhausting yourself)
Next, I invited her to breath in and out through her nose. After a few tissues were expended she was finally clear enough to breathe through her nose. Then I invited her to move her breath from her heaving chest down into her abdomen so that as she breathed in, her abdomen expanded and as she exhaled her abdomen contracted.
While this proved difficult initially for her, Maria soon got the hang of it.
Soon her breathing was more relaxed and I invited her to lengthen each breath to slowly breathe in over 4 seconds and exhale slowly over 4 seconds. I then explained that this slower and more relaxed breathing tells your brain and body that the emergency is over and you can begin to relax again.
I invited her to interlock her fingers and rest them on her stomach.
I explained that this indicates to your brain and body that you are no longer hunting and gathering like our ancestors , that you no longer need to protect or defend yourself or you family or your possessions so the Fight Reflex can be switched off.
On this video call I could see that she was beginning to relax but every time her mind went quiet a negative thought, a fear or anger popped up and made her want to deal with.
She had said that she was feeling like a victim of everybody else’s actions, words and the beliefs they held snout her, their expectations and needs.
In reality she had been living impriioned in a belief system that they could not succeed without her, would need every help she gave them and she never ever feel that they appreciated her efforts to make life good, Easy or better for her family or co-workers. Over time she had given everything so now was coming to me feeling exhausted, overwhelmed, invisible and feeling totally empty inside.
We needed to change this and to get her to move from overwhelm and exhaustion quickly, quietly and easily.
I invited her to search on the roof of her mouth for a slightly ticklish point and once she found it to suck on it like she had a mint, a toffee or a piece of candy there. Then I explained that this point has special properties. Sucking on it as a baby helps you to feel relaxed, calm and peaceful within yourself.
Continued gentle sucking triggers your brain to produce dopamine, which is a chemical that soon triggers the production of serotonin which helps you to sleep.
This is one of the reasons that babies who latch on and suck effectively are happy babies. Sadly those children whose tongues don’t reach the roof of the mouth are unable to get that level of satisfaction that helps him to be calm, comfortable feel safe and secure and settle down for a good healthy sleep.
(By the way, I also work in a hands on way in clinic with babies, children and people of all ages to release tongue ties and to reshape the roof of their mouth so that their tongue can reach this trigger point on the roof of their mouth giving them that inner sense of security and satisfaction that we all need to feel happy, healthy and whole. The difference is visible in minutes and the affect last for lifetime. To book a private clinic appointment simply click here. )
Soon I invited Maria to close her eyes and relax her body so that her attention was not on stay upright, or holding her head up, but that she felt totally supported and could rest her head comfortably on the back of the chair.
Next, I invited Maria to remember a time when she was very calm, relaxed, felt safe and secure. Sometime in the past when she had felt really wonderful. I invited her to go back 5,10, 20 years or whatever it took to travel back to a moment when she felt that everything was perfect.
I invited her to picture that time on a large screen on the inside of her forehead. I invited her to check out all of the different colours, patterns and anything else that you could see from that time, from that place. I could see a smile beginning to form on her lips and continued to invite her to begin to hear once again the sounds that she could hear especially the sounds that made her feel so relaxed, so good, so peaceful, that everything was so perfect.
Then her smile was lighting up her entire face and her body was so much more relaxed. Soon it was possible to extend the memory to include the sense of smell and taste and to deepen their experience so I invited Maria to remember that special fragrance, smell, aroma, scent that she associated with that time.
With a deep inhalation, she drew in once again that fragrance and smiled even more happily.
It was possible to see the change that took place within her from her face and body language and soon she was spending time in that perfect place as though she had never left it.
Soon I invited her to notice that wonderful feeling that you had within her body that wonderful feeling of satisfaction and peace. Soon I invited her to notice where that wonderful feeling was centered and to place the palm of one hand on that part of her body. Maria’s hand moved immediately to the centre of her chest, about 3 or 4 inches ( 10 cm) from her collarbones on her sternum.
[Afterwards, she described to me that she had experienced and deep heat warming or chest in that area at that time and told me about the fact that she could feel the heat radiating from her chest into her hand. ]
At this time, her face was radiant with happiness and deep satisfaction. Using a simple visualisation, I had helped her to reconnect to the part of her life well she had felt a perfect alignment between what she was feeling what she was seeing what she was hearing what she was smiling what she was doing and the inner peaceful self that we all have frequently lose contact with.
It seems to me that we are all born pre-programmed to live in harmony with ourselves, with others and in nature. This harmony seems to break out when we misunderstand our role in helping other people to achieve their full potential.
Certainly, a parent has to support and nurture their child but there is a natural boundary where the child needs to learn independence and the many other skills that will allow them to find happiness and satisfaction for themselves. Whether it is the guilt of not being there 24 seven or the misguided desired to live out their own failed dreams through their children, many plans have fallen into the trap of the coming children pleasers.
If you wrap yourself around the mission of pleasing a child then you will never find satisfaction or peace. Maria had fallen into the trap of being a people pleaser not just at home with her husband and four children but also in the workplace. Every day she dug deep and she gave are all in terms of energy and time to support for colleagues and her family leaving her with no time to be herself.
When I asked her afterwards about the last time that she has experienced a sense of peace and calm and tranquillity like she had felt during our call she told me that she could not remember feeling this way as a teenager or an adult.
Just helping Maria to reconnect with this moment of perfection helped her to realise just how far she had gone away from her natural peace of mind. In a subsequent call I helped MARIA to become what I call “self-full”.
We are all familiar with selfish and we know people like Maria or have been giving selflessly for years, however, when you give selflessly you diminish yourself continuously to the point for you empty out your whole self and you become simply a shell. This was how many presented when she came on the first call. She had lost her kernel and was unable to replenish herself, restore herself or find any connections to her real self.
In our subsequent call I helped her to feel “self-full” once again and gave her simple strategies to help her to fill her full self with positivity, peace, patience and perseverance, power and passion.
Too shy to appear live on video she sent this by email:
" Thank you, Padraig King, for the wonderful work that you do. Before we worked together I was totally overwhelmed, exhausted and burnt out from attempting to please everybody and neglecting myself.
Through the 6 calls we've had together I have learned how to relax, let go of other peoples’ issues, protect myself from the negativity, deal with my own sense of inferiority and my constant need to be helping other people.
Now I am happy to help when somebody needs my help but I am also comfortable allowing them and facilitating them to find solutions to their own difficulties rather than rushing in and solving the problems for them.
After what seems like a lifetime of pleasing everybody else I am finally beginning to live my own life. I have taken back time for me each day to do those things that I had been putting off doing for years: I have started our classes and I am developing my skills with sketching and painting which was my passion as a child and to lecture and had been suppressed because I never had the time to invest in me.
I am also attending a writing class and I have typed and read for the glass the first two chapters of the book that was rambling about in my head for years. It appears I have a talent for writing that I had been neglecting to develop because I spent all my time and energy looking after people who were well able to look after themselves.
My children, who are all in their late teens or adults I’ve finally learning how to cook for themselves and I haven't cooked a dinner in over a month. Up till recently I came in at 6 PM and then had to can cook dinner while my husband and four sons sat watching TV or playing intently on their gadgets in deep silence.
Now the kitchen is alive with chatter and banter as everybody helps to cook the main family meal where there are no awkward silences and phones and gadgets are totally ignored except to check on a recipe!
Padraig, you have not just given me a new way of living, and I have brought this to my family and I will be recommending you to many of my friends who have become lost in the struggle.
I will always be grateful to you for what you have done for me and my family. Thank you for helping me to rediscover myself and to feel fully alive again. I am no longer struggling to survive but feel totally and gloriously alive".