During the past week one of my clients came to see me who has spent the last 40 years looking after everybody else and has now arrived that point in her life where her family have grown, she is on top of her job and she is respected and appreciated for the wonderful contribution that she had made to the lives of so many people.
Let’s call her Mary, to hide her true identity, but you probably know someone just like her, maybe it’s yourself!
Mary was the eldest in her family and from a young age had been mothering her siblings. Throughout her life she had been mothering everybody including her husband, her neighbours and everyone she worked with.
She gave her time too freely and poured every gram of her energy and devotion into helping everybody to overcome their obstacles and live a higher quality of life.
There has been only one problem with this life of selfless service, she has been using every gram of energy, physical and emotional to help her family and friends to live full lives. Yet she is burned out and “crashes” on the couch in the evenings, too exhausted to cook and too tired to exercise! Yet next day she is the life and soul of the workplace and juggling meetings with a myriad of friends and colleagues and supporting them in every way she can.
Now, completely empty and unable to continue, she feels empty inside and has no more to give! She has no resilience or resources left so her body has developed symptoms of full blown adrenal exhaustion, diabetes and she complains that her memory is slipping! She forgets important stuff and no longer remembers some of the things that she has to do each day.
She has worked tirelessly and selflessly for many years and now has reached a point of no longer feeling like herself. She longs to feel the energy and the vitality that she had in the past. When I suggested that she take some time for herself she felt that this would be selfish because she wouldn’t be available to her family and friends.
Being “SELF-FULL” rather than an empty shell of who she used to be.
Self full is a term I coined to describe being fully yourself. I explained that because she was now an empty shell she was of little value to them at the moment. In fact, in recent times, her friends and family were now so concerned about her well-being that they were telling her to “take a break! ”
I had to explain the concept of being SELF-FULL and that she should slow down and take a break and refill her tank!
SELF-FULL is a concept where by you stock up within yourself on all of the things that you need to feel your full self again. This involves taking time for yourself, reflecting, decluttering ad shaking off the negativity of others, replenishing lost vitamins and minerals, getting adequate sleep and rest so that your body can restore itself to full health. SELF-FULL is a strange concept for many but being overwhelmed or feeling empty inside may be your reality right now. Find out more ways of being your full self again with help from Padraig King!
In her case being SELF-FULL also meant drinking the appropriate amount of water and choosing the right kinds of food to support her ailing body and eating regularly rather than skipping meals and devouring biscuits and chocolate when she was starving – empty calories for and empty person who had lived a selfless life for years and now “all her chickens had come home to roost” with multiple health conditions all caused by the selfless, “tireless” service she has given to others.!
Together we designed a program that will bring her back to her full strength, full health and give her that sense of being her full self once again.
Using my unique 25 point check, that I have developed for my clients and students, I was able to demonstrate to her just how little of her brain and body, five senses and other self preservation mechanisms were switched on! We also worked out what steps to take to move past this point of exhaustion and emptiness and restore her to a sense of wholeness, wellness and peace I.e. SELF-FULL!
Using simple feedback techniques we were able to establish what she needed for her body, mind and spirit to be restored so that she could be her full self once again.
If you have been living selflessly, and now find yourself running on empty, then contact me and let’s get you feeling and living in a SELF-FULL way so that you can be that wonderful resource to other people but in a way shares the excess rather than Erwin’s you out completely!
Tony Robbins, the International Coach, reckons that we have six basic needs. One of these is the need for significance. When you give all of your time, energy and resources to help other people then you may be doing it out of a need for being that significant person in their lives or you may be doing this to meet another need, your need to make a meaningful contribution to others. Which ever need you are fulfilling, you cannot continue to do it at the expense of your own health, wellness and personal fulfillment and well-being of body, mind and spirit.
If emptying yourself daily so that you can help other people is not balanced with self-love and self-preservation then you become a needless martyr. If you cannot balance self-lessness with self-fullness then you will be frustrated that you cannot accomplish all that you set out to do, and you will not have the energy or the resources to complete the tasks that you have started because you will be less than fully empowered yourself .
If you recognise yourself or a friend in this story then get my free audio on Self-Fullness and my free eBook on Overcoming Overwhelm.
Together let’s see how we can begin to restore you to wholeness, full health and peace of body, mind and spirit! and make an urgent recovery appointment to see me in my clinics or for a private online session.